The West Is The Best

Pirates Den
Werk Rd. Suite 6 Cin, OH 45248 513.347.3900

Ya’ll dropped the ball on the Best Of votes on this one. When it comes to Best, one of Cincy’s King of Crowds is the Pirates Den. The Westside hot spot is known for consistent 400+ person crowds, big bands and cheap prices. Those three things usually don’t run together in the same sentence either. How they didn’t make the list is a mystery.
But, the Best Of is over and done with. We have to keep it fresh, so we headed out to Glenway Ave. to check out the joint and to check out a band we haven’t seen yet, Bad Habit. I think it’s an understatement to say they both rock proper.
First off, how many clubs see a consistent 400+ crowd every weekend night? How many clubs feature a band line up that costs about $5000+ a weekend? Still only two, maybe three, four tops. How many clubs that feature both top notch bands and massive crowds rarely charge a cover? It’s a short list to be certain.
Pirates Den features all of the above plus some. First off, from 11:30 am to 10 pm the kitchen is serving your choice of 12 appetizers, 11 sandwiches, 8 big burgers, 4 hoagies, buffalo wings, buffalo shrimp, soups, salads and chili. If that ain’t enough to impress, the Empress Chili next door will send a waiter to your table with Cincy Chili. But the burgers are something to brag about. Fat 1/4 lb. and 1/2 lb Angus Chuck, served in eight varieties or create your own. Good? Bet on it. Cheap? How about $2.50 - $5.50 (for the big double 1/4 lb patty monster “Captain Hook”). The Den takes pride in their food, even though most clubs like this don’t even have a menu (or least not much of one anyway). It looks like a big band club, but, the menu reads like a good restaurant. Prices read like a school cafeteria. They have carry out too.
Monday through Wednesday, Pirates Den offers $2 domestics (Yuenglings too) to go with that cheap food. C’mon people, how is it going to get better than that?
Well, how about big bands with no cover charge? Now and then they have a $5 cover for The Menus, Naked Karate Girls and The Griswolds, but consider this, the Den dishes out about three grand a pop for those bands. Five bucks is still a deal. I see $7-10 for those names all the time. Mostly there is no cover charge at all at the Pirates Den
It’s not like they don’t need the extra cash either. As you read, the father - son dynamic duo that owns this place is spending all that money (and then some) on a new addition. Soon, the Den will hold an additional 100+ people on a new Tiki bar (with a great stage view). Plus, they are building a huge outdoor patio. A patio deluxe. Corn hole, horseshoes, sand volleyball courts and a large covered area will be in full swing by spring. Jesus! This will be a 500 person entertainment complex people.
Imagine, stroll in Saturday night, grab a drink, Naked Karate Girls take the stage. Push up front, slide in the Tiki bar and watch the mayhem. Then dip outside for smoke... Bam! Bikini clad chicks are bouncing around in a sand volleyball court, talk about two shows in one!
Uhh did I mention the 20 50” HD TV’s? (Think March Madness). Or the pool leagues, the soft tip and steel tip dart leagues? No? Well they have them all. Sound like a great place to rent for a party? Reserve a spot in this place and they not only don’t charge you... they give you 15% off to boot (while most places charge you, plus add a 15% gratuity on the check). Are you seeing why they should have made the list? Seeing is believing.
Perhaps the coolest part is, one fam created this place by hand. Father, son, sister and brother in-law did (and are doing) all the grunt work labor themselves. When they are not doubling as contractors they all have regular jobs in the bar that most owners would pay someone eight bucks an hour to do. They work it. Hard. That’s what you gotta do. Hands off owners in fancy pants and shiny shoes might act like they’re the Man, but the ones that work the grunt jobs are the Man. I know many of both. The workers always come out on top in the long run.
I think Pirates Den will be in it for the long haul too. They opened in 2006 and while many other clubs have closed since then, these folks are just getting started. They quickly out-grew the original club, and it was bigger than most. Now they are working on making the bigger one even bigger! Amen to that. America at it’s best.
Now if (Congressman) Dr. Ron Paul can get elected, hard working American business owners like these can sigh with relief when President Paul turns the lights out for good on the IRS and lets these hard working people keep their hard earned money where it belongs... in their family and in their business.
If you know the Den you have more in store. If you don’t, you’re gonna’ want to bother to find it. It’s at Glenway and Werk, 13 minutes from the Stadium, 15 from Newport (I timed it). Imagine that, Kentucky folks coming to the Ohio side of the river to party for once. It’s worth the drive. Bet on that.
Westsiders, you have many great clubs and pubs to choose from. The Pirates Den is by far one of the Best. And it keeps getting better. Makes me wish I was a Westsider.